Odd feelings
by kkbby69
Summary: "hello, Amerika. i would like to know if you would like to be my lover." *BOYXBOY DONT LIKE DONT READ* RusAme. Russia has new found feelings for a certain blonde, but how does that hold over with America? Not well. (summery sucks, story is good.)
1. the confession

Russia had lived for a long time, and although he didn't claim to know everything he did claim to know a lot. The problem at this moment was that he had no idea these new feelings. He sat in the conference room, staring at the boy for quite some time now. if he was caught he would blame it on too much vodka, but in all honesty, the blonde sitting across from him was more than enticing. he reached in his coat for more vodka, he had spoken to his sister and she said it was love, but he didn't want to believe it. He was Russia for the sake of all things soviet! He only hoped the blonde didn't notice his staring. Germany called time for lunch and Russia sat up and walked to the American.

"Hello, Amerika" he said with his trade mark smile. "I would like to know if you would become my lover." America looked shocked, which then turned to fear, and finally anger.

"Dude you have got to be kidding. You're kidding right?" he said as he laughed nervously.

"Nyet, I would like to be one with you, and not in the way of countries." Alfred looked around the room.

"Oh hey look at the time! Germany hates when we're late, see you around!" he ran off leaving Ivan there with a sharp pain that he still couldn't explain.

After the meeting Ivan staggered to his room, he drank at least two weeks of vodka just after lunch. He had a high tolerance, but that was still a lot. When he got to his room he fell on his bed and sighed. He picked up his phone and called his sister.

_"Privyet?"_

"Sister it is me…"

_"Oh vanya! I'm so sorry, I don't have your money yet."_

"Nyet sister that's not what I need"

_"Oh I'm sorry for assuming, what is it vanya?"_

"I told the Amerikan how I felt."

_"Oh? Do I have a future brother in law?"_

"He ran away. Avoided me the rest of the day."

_"Oh brother I am so sorry! You should come here and we can talk, da?"_

"Da. I am packing now. I will see you tomorrow."

_"Ok, would you like me to invite Natalia?"_

"Nyet!"

_"Oh vanya you know should only means well"_

"I know sister I know, just, please don't."

_"Ok I won't. I'll see you soon" _

*meanwhile in America's room*

"Dude what do I do? I saw him staring before but I didn't think he would try this! It has to be a trap! Commie bastard is trying to invade me or something I just know it! I need to build a robot! Thousands of robots! And a giant dome around me and my allies! Dude so not cool, I didn't want world war three to happen! Mattie what do I do?" America had been going on like this since the meeting ended and as always he went to his brother for help.

"Al, what if he actually likes you? He has been acting strange lately."

"There is no way! We have too much of a bad past. You trust commies way too much bro. you always defend Russia and Cuba, what next? North Korea?"

"Well…"

"Dude don't. Just don't. I need a beer. Come with me, I still need to figure this out." Canada sighed and went with him, bracing himself for a full night of ranting.

**Sorry its so short,, next chapters are longer i promise!**


	2. Drunken nights

The plane ride was long and tiring. They almost didn't let him on because of the smell of vodka on his breath. A breathalyzer and some tests later, he nearly missed his flight. Once he got to his sister he braced himself for the hug and walked inside.

"Vanya you look so down, are you ok?" she asked, although she knew the answer. Ivan went to her a couple weeks before and told her everything. It was funny to her how he didn't realize he was in love. He came in ranting about annoying feelings and thinking something was wrong in his capital because his heart kept doing a "fluttering thing". She had to convince him nothing was wrong as she sat him down for the much dreaded talk everyone avoids. No not sex, Ivan knew about that very well, but the one about love. To say he was surprised was an understatement. That was the one and only time she would ever see her little brother faint, and she couldn't tell anyone.

"I don't know what to do; I'm no good with romance. I never thought I'd need it, but now I feel this choking feeling and at first I thought it was Winter but I know it wasn't and I don't want to feel this anymore make it stop!" he was now in a rant slash hysteria. She hadn't seen him like his since he was little and bullied.

"Oh, I can't do that. No one can. Love is permanent. And I know you love him, but it may take some time for him to come around… given your past and all. Maybe you should ask him out, like on a date?"

"I did."

"What did you say?"

"I asked him to be my lover" Ivan was met with a fist to the back of his head. It didn't hurt physically but knowing who hit him hurt. He looked up to see his blushing sister looking down at him with a look of shock.

"That is not how you ask someone! Love takes time! You can't just jump to… that… oh Vanya I'm sorry I hit you, please forgive me!" she started hugging him as he tried to keep his face out of her boobs.

"Sister, its ok, I forgive you, please let go."

"Oh, da, sorry. Here I am crying and you look starved. Would you like anything?"

"Da, vodka please. I ran out."

"You… you ran out? Brother you left with a duffle bag full of vodka, what happened?"

"I drank when he ran. I kept drinking. Still thirsty."

"I'll go get you something to drink." She left with newly found worry for her brother. When he drank too much, he got hang overs, and when he got hangovers he got violent. When she came back she handed him wome water. Damage was already done so she may as well try to lessen the after effect.

"I said vodka."

"I know. I don't think any more vodka will do you good. Please drink water."

"Alright I will for you." He drank it down in one big gulp. "Now more vodka?"

"Nyet, more water." She took the glass and got more water. 11 glasses of water later he was finally asleep. She tucked him in, remembering when he was little.

_"Sister, no one likes me… even an animal rejected me. Why am I so wrong? What did I do? Will it always be like this?"_

_"No, no Vanya you will find someone you really like one day, and you will cherish that person with all your might. You will grow up to be strong and people will love you."_

_"Love is useless. People don't love they hurt, and then they get hurt and call you a monster. Am I a monster? I feel like one…"_

_"No you aren't a monster, and love is not useless. You will understand one day, I promise."_

_"Nyet. Kill me if I ever fall in love." And with that Russia fell asleep, and she tucked him in and kissed his head._

_"I do hope you find love soon, my Vanya."_

Just like then, she tucked him in, and kissed his head. "I'm glad you found love, my Vanya."

"Nyet, kill me if I ever fall in love." She jumped thinking he was awake. When she looked at him he was fast asleep. She realized he talked in his sleep and turned around.

"it will get better, I promise." She left to go to bed.

*with Al and Canada.*

"I love that big lug. Ya know? He's so big an' cuddly an' big." Al was now flat drunk and had no idea what he was saying.

"Al I'm over here." Canada sighed as Al turned from the wall he was talking to.

"Shit! Mattie how did you do that? Can you teleport? Are you a super hero? Why didn't you tell me man? I'd still love ya. I just wish I knew you better ya know?" at this point Al started crying. "Mattie! Don't leave me with the commie bastard!"

"shhh! Al I'm not leaving you and Russia is nowhere to be found now stop making a scene!" he had been dealing with this for quite some time now. It had started as ranting about Ivan, then confessions about thinking Ivan was hot, then to loving Ivan, and now this. Canada didn't know if it was the booze or if his brother really loved Ivan.

"I'll kill 'im one of these days, jus' you wait." Al has been slurring his speech worse by the second.

"I think it's time we go home Al. I'll drive."

"noooo I wanna-"

"I swear on all things hockey and maple if you so much as touch those keys I will shove a hockey stick so deep inside you you'll be shittin' pucks for the next month! Now get up we are leaving!" there was only so much Canada could take of his brother and his threat was not empty.

"Ok, jus' go easy on me mkay? I'm still a virgin."

"There are some things I don't need to know al. now get in the car."

"Da!" Al giggled. "Isn't Russian such a sexy language. Russia is always like 'da' and 'nyet' it's so hot." Canada had already pulled out his hockey stick and pointed it at Al.

"In the car, now."

"Ok ok I'm goin'. No need to have a stick in yur ass." Al giggled again. "You see what I did there? I made a joke. I'm funny." Canada shoved Al in the car and sped off having little to nothing to drink. When he got Al home he helped him to his bed and was about to let him fall in it when Al grabbed him and pulled him down with him.

"Russia, you smell nice." Canada squeaked as Al nuzzled his face in his hair.

"Al, I'm not Russia! Let go."

"mkay, night night Russia." He rolled over and let Mathew go. He sighed as he left the house.

"If only you could admit how you feel about him when you're not drunk and to him not me." He said under his breath as he drove off.


	3. become one

Alfred groaned as he woke up to the smell of pancakes and maple. suddenly his stomach growled loudly as he rolled out of bed. he quickly realized that was a bad idea as he fell to the floor with a loud thud. Mathew was in the kitchen and laughed when he heard the loud groan after the thud. a few more thuds and a sliding noise later, Alfred crawled into the kitchen, clawing over to the table and hoisting himself up in the seat. Mathew looked back at him and smiled, "hungry?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

it was well past noon since the other past out the night before, and normally he has at least five healthy meals a day. so to skip two already must be wearing him thin. "mmmnnguurl" both alfreds stomach and mouth said in response. Mathew just chuckled, "im guessing that's a yes" he set a large plate of pancakes in front of Alfred and he ate them all within minutes. 'he never ceases to amaze me' Mathew thought to himself.

ivan woke up early, having been used to hangovers, and started cooking for him and his sister. the sound of her breasts was heard coming down the stairs and he smiled. "good morning" he called to her as she walked in the kitchen. "good morning vanya. how are you feeling?" she asked concerned as she put her hand to his forehead to check his temperature. he just chuckled, "I am fine. no worries, da?" he smiled warmly at her. "I am sorry to have bothered you last night." he apologized shyly, slightly embarrassed. she just grinned and hugged him tightly, making him grunt as her arms crushed his ribs and her breasts pressed against his stomach, making him very uncomfortable. "ah, sister please stop" he strained to say and she let him go. "I am sorry vanya, it is just that I barely ever see you, so when you come over, drunk or not, I still love it"

ivan felt a pang of guilt, "I am sorry so not coming over. I have been busy and my boss doesn't seem to like me talking to you and if I could I would live here with you but I don't want to trouble you..." she sighed and shook her head, "nyet, you need to live in your own home sadly. that is where everyone knows where to find you" she stated, mainly having Alfred in mind. she had a strange feeling he would come looking for her bother soon enough.

"they can see me at the conferences, and that is too much already. they all seem to not want to see me at all" he stated sadly but forced a smile. "that is ok though. soon they will all become one and my home will be filled with people again" she sighed and shook her head, "we have talked about this. no becoming one. you signed the treaty, remember?" ivan frowned, "it is just paper. paper burns" he huffed stubbornly. "vanya!" he jumped at her angry tone, "I am kidding, it is funny da?I make a joke" he chuckled nervously.

Alfred groaned at his stuffed stomach. "that was great mattie. thanks" he smiled at the other, not remembering anything from the night before. "you know how you can make it up to me?" Mathew turned to him with a mischievous smile. "ah, sure dude, what you need?" he asked slightly nervous.

"go to ivans house, apologize, kiss and become one" he smirked at his reference, his French showing through. Alfred looked at him shocked and blushed deeply, his face bright red as he froze.

* * *

**welp that's that. don't know where im taking this actually. im sorry its taking so long to update, college and writers block is not a good combo. sorry its short too, I think this will be the average chapter. **


	4. scars

Alfred sputtered and blushed like never before. what was his brother implying? "look dude I don't like him-" Mathew glared down at him, which was more terrifying than it should have been in his opinion. "don't give me that shit. you are one hell of a drunk and I did not just listen to you go on about a hot Russian guy all night just to have you try to lie about it all. now get your shit, and go to his house. or I will knock you out and drive you there myself." he took out his hockey stick for emphasis.

Alfred shuddered, remembering the last time he tried to challenge his brothers threats. he sighed and got up. "fine. but I wont become one got it!" he huffed and went to his room to shower and get ready for the day ahead. thoughts went through his head as he felt the water run over him and burn the day before out of his skin. he honestly couldn't believe he was going to do this. sure he thought the Russian was attractive, with his ridiculous stature and pale yet elegant skin. but he never dreamed of a situation like this. he thought for a moment, then realized he was lying. he dreamed of going to that mans house every night. to just go there and talk through their past issues, maybe get snowed in and have Ivan only have one bed so they have to cuddle for warmth. he started imagining the others hot breath on his neck and a slick tongue licking the shell of his ear while the other spoke sweet nothings in Russian.

before he knew it Florida was saluting him and he groaned, turning the water to icy cold. he closed his eyes and imagined it was a waterfall instead of a shower, and the cold was peaceful. Goosebumps littered his skin and his muscles burned with the need for warmth. he slowly felt his limbs become numb, which only calmed him down further.

a knock at the bathroom door pulled him out of his trance and he realized his skin was turning pale from the cold. he turned off the water and put a towel around his waist so he can answer the door. when he opened it he expected to see Mathew, and was about to cuss hi out for interrupting him. but where Mathews face normally was he saw large breasts and blue overalls. his jaw dropped and Florida stirred again. but then he realized, Ukraine, Russia's sister, his house, him half naked, Mathew grinning behind her...wait..."shit!" he yelled and slammed the door as he hurriedly put on his clothes. he heard Mathew laughing and he growled.

"please don't be embarrassed...I came with vanya so you two can make up. he was very stubborn about coming here so please don't make this a wasted trip" she asked politely, making him feel guilty for his out burst. he opened the door fully clothed now. "no no, its ok. I was just naked and all so it surprised me." he stated before her words sunk in. Ivan was with her. here, in his house. he did everything he could to not faint on the spot.

they heard a crash and all of their attentions went to the living room, where Ivan was standing awkwardly next to a broken vase, "ah, it was like that when I got here?" he stated, hoping they bought it. Alfred sighed and went over to the now broken vase, "a regular bull in a china shop aren't you?" he joked, but his hands shook with nervousness.

"I disagree comrade, that was not Chinese and neither is your home, so I do not understand what you mean" Ivan stated innocently. 'cute' Alfred thought and let a smile come as he chuckled. "dude, you take things way too literal." he cleaned up the mess. he looked around and saw no trace of Mathew or Ukraine. he suddenly realized what they were trying to do.

"da, well it is not my fault you have a bad sense of humor" Ivan countered. this made Alfred out right laugh. "dude when was the last time you made a funny joke?" Ivan thought about it. "I have one right now if you wish. I do not understand why you wish to know though" Alfred quirked and eyebrow, "bring it on man, I doubt you joke is funny"

"why was I pulled over this morning?" he asked. Alfred blinked, "what? I don't know dude what you do?" he asked confused. "because I was Russian" Ivan smiled. Alfred took a second then burst up laughing just from the sheer cheesiness of the joke. "that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" he said in between laughs. Ivan frowned and turned away from him pouting and blushing. 'cute' Alfred found himself repeating in his head.

"come on man don't be like that. it was funny, just not in the way you intended it." he put a hand on Ivan's shoulder. there was a slight tension as they realized they were making contact. thoughts ran through both of their heads, making them blush like crazy. Alfred removed his hand and slid it down Ivan's arm, feeling the muscle underneath the coat. "so um...that coat must be really hot. you can take it off if you want..." Alfred stated, his mouth suddenly going dry. Ivan nodded and shrugged off his jacket, his well build arms revealing inch by inch. finally the coat was off, showing Ivan's scarred body underneath his black tank top. Alfred gulped, sitting down and crossing his legs to hide his new problem. Ivan kept his scarf on and for a second Alfred wondered why, but then he saw a mark from underneath the scarf and realized there must be scars there. seeing Ivan and all his battle wounds made him reconsider the others actions in the past, and found himself feeling sorry for the man. he did the only thing he could think to do, and got up and kissed Ivan lightly.


End file.
